Having it all together

I haven’t posted on here in a while, so I thought I would.  I was thinking about writing the typical post where I update everything on the things we’ve accomplished, but God opened my eyes to something else.  I go to UNC, and although I love it here, there are a few things I can’t stand.  The main thing is the overarching mentality on campus most people call the “Carolina Way”.  It’s all about being the best at everything you try and finding your identity in your grades and how many things your involved in on campus.  Pretty much what it all turns into is this sense that you have to have it all together all the time.  I hate this mentality and have been very much against it all year...some of my grades are proof of this.  I thought I was doing well at fighting against this worldly mentality and finding my identity in Christ instead, but tonight was a bit of a reality check for me.

I have noticed that most of the time when I tell people what I’ve been up to lately or what God has been doing in my life there response is something like “wow, it sounds like you really have your life figured out.”  I didn’t notice it at the time, but I took pride in this kind of reaction.  I like being in control.  I like people thinking that I’m succeeding at the things I’m doing.  In reality, God isn’t anywhere in that reaction I’m getting from people.  He’s not getting any glory from people seeing my achievements.  God uses broken people for a reason.  I should desire for people to look at me and not see me at all, just God’s light shining through me.  It’s the fact that he can accomplish so much in such broken people that makes His story so amazing.  By putting on this “perfect” front, I’ve been really selfish and have been putting God in a box.  

For everyone else on the L4L team, you all know that I’m far from perfect and I hope that you hold me accountable to embracing this brokenness.  It’s my prayer that we all go out in boldness and do something reckless for God.  Everything about building this organization is crazy and the only way it is ever going to succeed is if we give God all control over our lives and the things we do.

-Alison